The Chosen One

(for people who think it is pointless rambling - it probably is, don't bother)

Time and again, your situation makes you realize the same gut wrenching fact: you are not "the chosen one". You are nice, and you are good - not good enough. You can try harder and try more but cannot change the fact. The choice does not involve you. It hurts, makes you feel doubtful of yourself but still it remains the fact. Unfortunate, but true. You are not the one.
It's like the feeling Legolas (Orlando Bloom) must have had in Return of the King. He was good, but Aragon was the king. What if he wanted to be the king? Maybe Legolas would have been a better king - maybe worse, we can never know. It was the fork in the road that was never taken. It's the same in life. You could have done better or worse - but you still wanted to be there, be the one.
       All said and done, you are left on the sidelines, wondering what it would be like to be chosen. Or be happy for the one who was or would be chosen. It's like the others who tried before King Arthur pulled Excalibur out of the stone. It was his destiny, and that of the others who failed. Sometimes, it is your destiny to sit on the shore and watch the ship sail away happily - and sing good luck songs for the ship. Destiny however leaves a caveat. Like a wise man once said, A man does what he can until his destiny is revealed to him. So you can try, try more and perhaps fail. Confirm the failure but continue to try. If sitting on the shore is your destiny, might as well take a few plunges and live with the satisfaction that you tried. Atleast it saves you from the pain of thinking 'what could have been...'
       One thing is for sure though - you will be told at some point or the other - that it's not worth it!! That your trying is in vain and you deserve better. People who tell you that are either being too nice or just don't know you well enough. It's a dream, something you have decided to live by, committed to follow and cherish in your heart like a part of your soul. It's a passion you cannot express but can only smile about and say "that is how it is". How can anything not be worth it? While you are being told you deserve better - you begin the whole process in your mind again coming to the same crushing conclusion - am happy that I had this dream, this passion and I am not sad to be sidelined. There is nothing I hold against those who reject. In fact, one of the happiest thoughts I will take with me is that I tried!! I did something I wanted to do and it was worth every bit. There is just one tryst I have with my destiny - afterall I am not The Chosen One

(people egged on to bear this torture by my pointless rambling teaser - sorry, I told you it would be!!)

Sachin - The God of Cricket

He is on 186 and runs for a double like he is just getting off the mark!! that hunger...he goes outside the offstump, after two dot balls, and hits stein over squareleg!! that talent....he goes down the track and throws VDM over long on and extra cover like he is playing a gully cricketer!! that ruthlessness...and he looks to the sky when he completes his double ton and thanks god!! that modesty...you cannot help but stop and think if cricket even exists beyond this man...if ever a quasi religion of a billion people could find a greater god or is this the nirvana...to watch Sachin unleash one magic after another...where else, pray, can God be, if not here?
One the day the master hit a double ton - first ever in ODI history, the day 24th Feb 2010 goes down in the holy scripts of cricket as a chapter on solemn bliss!

फूल की चाह

चाह नहीं मै सुरबाला के गहनों में गुंथा जाऊ

चाह नहीं प्रेमी माला में बन्ध  प्यारी को ललचाऊ

चाह नहीं सम्राटोंके शव पर हे हारी डाला जाऊ

चाह नहीं देवोंके सर चढूं, भाग्य पर इतराऊ

मुझे तोड़ लेना वनमाली, उस पथपर देना तुम फ़ेंक 

मातृभूमिपर शीश चढाने जिसपथ जावे वीर अनेक

बचपन में पढ़ी हुई कविता, आज बहोत सालों बाद फिर पढने का अवसर आया. जब भी पढता हु, मन विचलित हो जाता है | किसी समय देश और समाज के लिए कुछ करने की इच्छा थी, आज शायद भाग-दौड़ में वो कही खो सी गयी है | क्या पता कभी फिर वापस मिले, या नहीं!

स्वल्पविराम

ठेउन ओळ गेली माझ्या वहीत ती 

झाला उशीर थोडा वाचायला मला || 

उशीराच पाहीला तो पानाचा दुमडलेला कोपरा  

अजुनही त्या पानाला मात्र, मोगरयाचा गंध होता || 

अंधुक होती काही अक्षरे, शाई पुसटशी होती  

इथेच बहुदा तिच्या डोळ्यातला, मोती ओघळला होता || 

वाटले मिळाली सर्व उत्तरे, क्षणाचा होता भ्रम तोही  

कारण प्रत्येक उत्तरामागे, एक नवा प्रश्न होता || 

वाट वेगळी झाली तरीही कुठेतरी भेटू आपण  

दुनिया गोल आहे, इतकातरी शास्त्रावर विश्वास होता || 

शेवटी पुन्हा तेच सारं, अखंड प्रवास असीम शांतता  

कधी न संपणार्या कवितेचा, हा फक्त स्वल्पविराम होता ||

Thanks Mandar for writing the first two lines of this poem.

Truth - as I see it

You know what the greatest truth of life is? 

it's this: that life is unpredictable and that is where it's beauty lies. If you knew how everything is going to be, there would be no fun left. 

Some questions have to be unanswered, some conquests incomplete and some mistakes to turn back and laugh at...some wounds to count at the end...the last moment when you find the final answer :-)

Not before and never after.....that's the joy called life.

Dream (?)

I saw it last night. Not sure if it was a dream. I was running. There were woods around, and it was dark. 

Dense woods that gave away no clue of what was coming next. There were people around me. I could see their 

faces but not make out who they were. There was a feeling I knew them and they knew me. But there was no 

cognizance. Everyone was seemingly unstoppable. All were being driven by an unknown force. I, too, was 

running at a mind numbing pace. Peering in the dark for clues of what lies ahead. I am sure so was everyone 

else.  There was just a cool, dark night ahead. A moonless sky staring down at us, challenging us to leave its 

domain and break free. I remember the hope I felt. A promise that the horizon had something we all wanted. 

It was running farter from us. Every step I knew someone around me was falling, his place taken by a new 

person. My legs hurt, throat was dry. I knew it was the case with everyone. Still no one wanted to stop. I tried 

to talk. To scream, to cry just to know if I was still human! My cries were muffled by the noise of the 

footsteps. I wanted to stop, yes I did. But an unknown force kept me going. Like it would be a sin to stop. A 

felony or blasphemy to wait while others go ahead. I heard a strange sound. From the depths of the woods, 

the sound emerged, coaxing, guiding even forcing us on. The pace quickened, like the night was a slack period 

and the real work was about to being. I wasn't sure if it was a dream. The drain of energy, the sweat and the fear all seemed so real. Maybe it was real!! All hope was lost. All knowledge of smell, taste, color, happiness, relationships was gone. All that was left were thumping feet, pounding chests and faceless people with nameless desire to reach somewhere. 

I tried to muster my courage and talk to the closest person. 

Who are you?

..... 

Why are we running?

we have to

where are we going?

ahead

to what end?

.....

suddenly, as though an unknown whip was cast on all of us, we jumped and started going faster. I felt the chill deep inside, something was rising inside me. The noise was getting sharper, clearer, louder...and like the escaping of a silent scream, I was thrown from the darkness, dizzy and confused towards the noise. 

I woke with a start at the noise. It was the morning alarm....

A Vanquished Sport

" A hideous world record that stands on the poignant corpse of a defaced game"
They say the best thing you can get from sports is the spirit of struggle and the ability to withstand defeats. Perhaps it was some wise man from the old school who had never known the gross ineptitude of his fellow humans towards the notion of honor and spirit.
We all were taught to look at the sporting spirit while watching or playing a game and we were proud to follow it. Our idea of a good game is one where the rules are obeyed and fairness This should explain why Indians all over the world could not contain their shock while their beloved game of cricket was being devastated, its spirit throttled and its honor tarnished by a bunch of "spirited (read arrogant)" "quasi-ethical (read foul)" descendants of British criminals (Yes. In that land, Aborigines do not play cricket and those who do were taught their NOBLE ways by their ancestors who had done a lot of 'unpleasant' acts in the English regime).
Oh and by the way, suddenly a member of a community which has been historically at the receiving end of racism is accused of making racial remarks about "you know who". Ridiculous!! Ironically, even the judges listened to the same bunch of "you know what" kind of people to decide the fate of our poor hero. It is perhaps fitting that a movie channel was playing the film "Ghatak" which added new color to the whole affair. So for each wicket going down in the second innings, Sunny paji shouts on the other channel "So gaya hai kanoon!!"...fate it seems has a strange sense of humor.
Indians have a strange way of reacting to such situations. The media as usual went to the streets (sometimes i wonder if they keep walking on the street asking silly question to people - who knows which question strikes gold and when) asking people what they felt. Outrage was everywhere, as much as the smoke out of burning effigies. The question was if India should come back from Australia immediately. What an idea! A remnant of the Great Indian truth trick called the satyagraha. No way gentlemen, said BCCI, we stay (somebody was fast enough to calculate the dollars lost. Public memory is short and swiss accounts are long term).
It will be a collective defeat of the game and of the players if this issue goes unnoticed. Challenging the decision is not going to suffice. We must use our clout in the ICC to bring home the point that no one is greater than the game. (right now they say "no one is greater than the aussie game" - small change needed). A team that 'specializes' in racism, sledging, cheating and dishonesty should be kept away from the game for a while, to let them cool off their heads against the many world records that they have snatched. A ban or atleast a public apology for the behavior on and off the field is the least of penalties the team deserves for their honorable contribution to the game.
The first line of this blog gave a vent to my emotions. Rest of it is just bits and pieces. The aim was not to comprehend the breadth and depth of the issue, it was just to put in some thoughts.
After all

Ye australia ka cricket hai bhidu
ponting bole to out bhidu
bhajji bole to shout bhidu
umpire to ghar ke hai
match refree bhi jeb me hai
duniya chillaye to parva kise hai
apne najar me to record bhidu
ye australia ka cricket hai....bhidu

@Caution:
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